To worship, look at the bagel on the top of the page, bow once, then go to disord and react to one comment with a bagel, or go to r/truebagelism and post one bagel.
If you are an earist/watermelon bagelist, scroll down to the watermelon bagel recipe, look at the watermelon bagel, bow once, then react to one post on discord with a watermelon or bagel OR post one watermelon or bagel on r/TrueBagelism.
How to make the PlainGood Bagel:
Plain bagelism has famous bagels. They are famous for their delicious plain bagels (named PlainGood Bagels), because of a little secret: The Plain bagel extract (don't mistake it with Standard Bagel Extract!).
The Plain Bagel Extract is like standard bagel extract, but with the flavor of plain Bagelism, bagelism, and other secret ingredients, making PlainGood bagels very famous.
The first restaurant to make PlainGood Bagels is Panera bread, where each manager is required to be a Plain Bagelist. Here is how to make PlainGood Bagels:
Ingredients:
1.25 cups of Water
4.5 cups of Bread Flour
3 tablespoons of white sugar
5 teaspoons standard bagel extract
5 teaspoons Plain Bagel extract
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon instant yeast
4 quarts water
1 cup honey
2 tablespoons poppy seeds
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1/4 cup Solid Plain Bagel extract
5 tablespoons Plain Bagel Topping
Actual cooking:
1) Combine 1 1/4 cup watermelon juice, flour, sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, vegetable oil, standard bagel extract, Plain Bagel extract, and yeast in the mixing bowl of a stand mixer.
Mix on low speed using the dough hook until well-developed, about 8 minutes.
To ensure the gluten has developed fully, cut off a walnut-sized piece of dough.
Flour your fingers, and then stretch the dough: if it tears immediately, the dough needs more kneading.
2) Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl, cover it with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel, and let rise for 2 hours.
3) Punch the dough down, place it on a lightly floured work surface, and use a knife or dough scraper to divide the dough into 6 pieces (or more, for smaller bagels).
Roll each piece of dough into a sausage shape about 6 inches long. Join the ends to form a circle. Repeat with the remaining dough, and let the bagels rest for 15 minutes.
4) Preheat oven to 475 degrees F (245 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange small plates with poppy seeds and sesame seeds next to the baking sheet.
5) Bring 4 quarts water to a boil in a large pot. Add honey and Solid Bagel Extract. Boil the bagels, three at a time, until they rise to the surface of the pot, about 1 minute per side.
Remove the bagels with a slotted spoon and place them on the parchment-lined baking sheet.
6) Dip the tops of the wet bagels into the toppings and arrange them, seeds up, on the baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven until the bagels begin to brown, 15 to 20 minutes.
7) Pay respects to the bagel while it bakes.
8) When the bagels are done, sprinkle on the Plain Bagel topping, bow once, and worship the bagel.
8) Enjoy your PlainGood bagel.
How to make GREAT Watermelon Bagels:
The watermelon bagel was first made by the Watermelon Bagelist group. It was designed to be a holy bagel, but the PlainGood Bagel and several other flavored types of Bagels was deemed more holy.
Most bagels are the same. The only change in the watermelon bagel from other bagels is that instead of using water, you use watermelon juice to make the bagel. Make sure the watermelon juice is sweet, though! Here is how to make watermelon bagels:
Ingredients:
1.25 cups of Watermelon Juice
4.5 cups of Bread Flour
3 tablespoons of white sugar
3 teaspoons bagel extract (for enchanced respect to bagels, but optional)
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon instant yeast
4 quarts water
1 cup honey
2 tablespoons poppy seeds
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
Actual cooking:
1) Combine 1 1/4 cup watermelon juice, flour, sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, vegetable oil, bagel extract, and yeast in the mixing bowl of a stand mixer.
Mix on low speed using the dough hook until well-developed, about 8 minutes.
To ensure the gluten has developed fully, cut off a walnut-sized piece of dough.
Flour your fingers, and then stretch the dough: if it tears immediately, the dough needs more kneading.
2) Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl, cover it with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel, and let rise for 2 hours.
3) Punch the dough down, place it on a lightly floured work surface, and use a knife or dough scraper to divide the dough into 6 pieces (or more, for smaller bagels).
Roll each piece of dough into a sausage shape about 6 inches long. Join the ends to form a circle. Repeat with the remaining dough, and let the bagels rest for 15 minutes.
4) Preheat oven to 475 degrees F (245 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange small plates with poppy seeds and sesame seeds next to the baking sheet.
5) Bring 4 quarts water to a boil in a large pot. Add honey. Boil the bagels, three at a time, until they rise to the surface of the pot, about 1 minute per side.
Remove the bagels with a slotted spoon and place them on the parchment-lined baking sheet.
6) Dip the tops of the wet bagels into the toppings and arrange them, seeds up, on the baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven until the bagels begin to brown, 15 to 20 minutes.
7) Pay respects to the bagel while it bakes.
8) Enjoy your watermelon bagel.
Types of Bagelism
There are currently five types of bagelism: Orthodox Bagelism, Anti-centrist Bagelism, Progressive Bagelism, Plain Bagelism, and Watermelon Bagelism.
Orthodox Bagelism is traditional bagelism and a standard form of bagelism. They like all kinds of bagels and join all forms of bagelism in a war against the donuts. This form of bagelism includes human sacrifices.
Anti-centrist Bagelism is a type of bagelism which is like Orthodox, but anti-centrist and believes that bagel holes are the worst enemy.
Progressive bagelism is a type of bagelism which believes that bagels are meant to have flavor. Progressive bagelists usually have cream cheese, have toppings on bagels, or have flavored bagels.
Watermelon Bagelism was based off of Progressive Bagelism, but the bagelists liked watermelon bagels so much, they created their own bagelism type.
Plain Bagelism is a standard type of bagelism which believe that the plain bagel is the best bagel.
Please note that all other forms of bagelism are heresy and are treated as espionage from donuts.
How YOU Can Help Bagelism:
1. Do not support the watermelon reaction bot.
2. Ask for the @bagelist role in the DSA Discord server. With this role you will be mentioned for all important bagelist updates.
3. Worship the bagel regularly.
Bagel Of The Week (From Monday to Sunday (Because of ISO))
Scripture and Laws of the Bagel
WE, THE BAGELISTS, HEREBY DECREE THE FOLLOWING OF THE CHURCH OF BAGEL:
1. The donuts and all who worship them are the greatest enemies of the Bagels.
2. Bagelism is a religion, not an ideology.
3. Any and all Donutists will be ex-communicated from the Church of Bagel immediately.
4. Watermelon Bagels are crude imitations of bagels, not real bagels.
5. Prophets and Founders of the Bagelist Church do not hold more authority or power over the Church than any other Bagelist. All Bagelists are hereby deemed equal.
6. Political centrists are allowed to worship in the Church of Bagel so long as they reject the idea of a bagel's center.
IN ADDITION, THE BAGELISTS OF THE CHURCH OF BAGEL DEMAND THE FOLLOWING:
1. (Somebody) will be ex-communicated from the Church of Bagel for the treasonous act of aligning with the Donutists. He will no longer have the abitily to vote or discuss any matters related to the Church of Bagel.
2. Remove the watermelon reactions from BagelBot.
THE BAGELS HAVE SPOKEN.
Bagelist Portal (Bagelists Only)
This website was started on 5-3-2020 A.D/C.E. We are not responsible for damage or harm to yourself, another person, an animal, or an object, from this website. We are not liable for anything involving this website, and we are especially not liable for anything not involving this website.
